Nova Scotia Bureau of Absurd Nova Scotia

Province of Nova Scotia
Department of Traffic Harmony
For Immediate Release — Sept 6, 2025

Nova Scotia Bans Flashing Headlights to Nudge Distracted Drivers

Only Honking Now Permitted at Stoplights

Halifax, Nova Scotia — In a decisive move to restore order at intersections, the Province of Nova Scotia has officially banned the practice of flashing headlights to signal distracted drivers who fail to notice green lights. From now on, motorists are instructed to use horns exclusively when encouraging fellow drivers to get moving.

“Flashing lights may seem polite, but studies show it creates confusion, glare, and accidental Morse code messages to nearby ships,” said Dr. Beatrice Beam, Chief Illuminations Officer at the Department of Traffic Harmony. “The honk is clear, direct, and universally understood—like a maritime foghorn, but for bad drivers.”

The “Honk for Progress Act” establishes horns as the sole legally recognized method of wake-up calls at intersections.

Key Measures

• Headlight Flashing Ban: Drivers may no longer flash lights to signal “wake up, buddy” at traffic lights.
• Honk-Only Protocol: All nudging must be performed via horn, preferably in short, polite toots rather than angry symphonies.
• Honk Training Modules: Driving schools will introduce a “Honk Etiquette” unit to teach the difference between a courteous tap and a highway meltdown.

Prohibited Activities

• Using high beams to spell “MOVE” in binary.
• Deploying strobe-like flashes in school zones.
• Substituting other signals, such as bagpipes, kazoos, or seagull calls.

Enforcement

Violators flashing headlights at intersections face fines of $227—the average price of replacing a car battery after leaving lights on too long. Repeat offenders may be required to attend a Honk Responsibly workshop, complete with role-play exercises and free Tim Hortons gift cards for practicing patience.

As Minister of Traffic Harmony, the Honourable Claxon McToot, stated: “If you’ve got something to say to the driver in front of you, say it with your horn. Loud, proud, and Nova Scotian.”

Quick Facts

• The average Nova Scotian waits 14 seconds too long at green lights due to drivers texting, daydreaming, or fiddling with cupholders.
• Headlight flashing has been linked to increased confusion among seniors and one report of accidentally summoning a lighthouse keeper.
• Horns have a 94% success rate in getting distracted drivers to move, compared to 12% for flashing lights and 0% for passive-aggressive sighing.

For more information on the Honk for Progress Act, visit http://www.novascotia.ca/honk or call 1-800-HONK-NOW.

Media Contact:
Amber Lites
Director of Intersection Communications
Department of Traffic Harmony
Phone: 1-800-HONK-NOW
Email: honkresponsibly@gov.ns.ca